Swim to China

So there are some people that I’m really impressed with today.  To the girl in choir that was eating: man, you are so talented!  I can’t imagine putting food in my mouth and singing at the same time!  You go Glen Coco!  You cheaky cunt.  

And to all the girls who cross their legs while singing: you must have gigantic lungs that crossing your legs doesn’t affect your singing!  Whoa, like impressive.  

To the girl that was reading from her kindle during rehearsal: you must know your music so well that you can multitask like that!  I guess you meant to miss those rests today.  That’s so cool that you can read and pay attention to the conductor at the same time.  I wish I had that ability.  

I may be slightly intoxicated, but damn people!  It’s an easy class.  Care just a little.

I think we should make every guest who walks into our house sign a copy of the house rules and initial next to putting the seat down and parking in the correct area.  

I would have been happy if anyone else had walked in the door.  Anyone but her and her fucking boyfriend.  Hey that’s cool.  I’m letting the bread rise…go ahead and take over the ENTIRE kitchen when today was going to be my wine, bake, and chick flick night….hey that’s cool.  If you are not out of there by the time I bake the bread I will cut you.

Rant of the panties

I love work and the people I work with, but sometimes I want to slap them with a rainbow. Panties go with the rainbow.  Not red, orange, purple, black, green, yellow, white.  

And Apple, why must you delete apps when I try to sync another device with my computer?  Like, what?  

And I’m really happy with how my family has been, but omg, it’s not that big a deal to update your ipad so i can borrow it for ten minutes.  Why must everything take an hour of research and end with no update?